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In my vanilla life I am a decision maker and a driver and impatient to get things done. When I have decided on something I go for it. Bridging this gap is something I am still learning. I have to remind myself as his sub that it is not about me. As his sub I must learn to be patient and wait until He tells me to do something. For example I would like to have some Ben wa balls so that I can train my vaginal muscles to be tight despite all the stretching they regularly endure. The vanilla me wants to rush out and buy some and start using them. As a sub I have to learn to be patient and wait. He will decide if and when I get them - and if and when I am to wear them for his pleasure. It is not about me. Being a Master carries responsibility and thought. This must be demanding and I can imagine that He needs a break sometimes. If I wish for attention and my Master is tired or busy or simply not in the mood I am learning to hold back from demanding from him and remind myself: It is not. Ayan: You should have. Maybe the only reason I pulled my zip down was to get my meat out and fap to you.Mona: I should have let you fap looking straight into my eyes.Ayan: You were still the woman I came for.Mona: I wish I had given your young mind more alluring moments.Ayan: You always did, Mom. Plus, Mona Lisa helped! Haha!Mona: Maybe ‘my sister from another father’ is not so bad, after all! Hahaha!Ayan: Lol! Every day after my birthday, each time you told me you were going to have a bath, I would play a part in the video that showed Mona Lisa in the shower, wet and naked. I would visualize you undressing, and there were even days I would challenge myself to guess the color of your bra and panties.Ayan: Every time you said you were going to one of our neighbor’s house, I would play the part where Mona Lisa is fucked by not just her neighbor’s husband, but also her sons, at the same time! I would imagine you getting screwed, as I watched!Mona: What about the occasions I told you I.
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